The world can be a hard place to be your true self without feeling endangered. Even on the internet, people will attack you for speaking your right mind. So sometimes you have to retreat to safer spaces where you and your little friends can be your petty-ass selves and talk shit all day long. Here’s how:
Find a Place that’s Private
If you and your trifling little friends are going to talk major shit, it’s important to find a place where no one can hear you. Invite them over to your place, where no one else will find out which programmer Amy’s hooking up with or say that Sheryl’s new butt workout is not working. If you trust your little friends not to screenshot (and you probably shouldn’t), start a group text called “gossipgurlz.”
Drop Some Bombs
It’s important that your little friends feel that this is a safe space to share. You can lead by example by dropping some truly damaging comments about people you know. Start with something like “not to be mean but…” which is secretly a signal to all your little friends that you are about to be very mean. Saying the mean thing you think they’re thinking to everyone there lets them know you’re ready to nurture and protect their harsh comments as well.
It’s important in a safe space to give your small-minded friends room to voice their petty thoughts and concerns as well. Don’t be afraid to let the conversation lull and leave others to pick it back up, with comments like, “Did I tell you Valerie and David broke up? I heard he never went down on her their whole relationship.” By leaving the door open, people feel safe to share, and you are privy to some juicy dirt.
Not everyone is cut out to be a compassionate leader. But by giving care and attention to cultivating community, you can help create some truly safe spaces to talk shit with your little friends.