Like many people, I suffer from intense social anxiety and tried to treat it by traditional means. I tried cognitive behavior therapy, constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and using techniques to help ground me in my body when I felt particularly bad, but nothing seemed to work. That is, until I discovered an unconventional but extremely effective way to combat my irrational fears. Here’s how I managed to overcome crippling social anxiety by replacing it with what I can only call a vehement, deeply angry social fury.
That’s right, it’s your fault for making me come to a social gathering in the first place! Whore!
Since I’ve decided to lean into social fury, I no longer arrive at a party and immediately retreat into myself: Instead, it’s more like I explode. I used to struggle with introducing myself to large groups. Now, the second I’m through the door, I’m all, “Who the fuck are you?” and “Do you know who the fuck I am?” I’ll immediately grab a chip bowl to establish dominance, and any time someone gets close, I’ll yell, “Uh-uh. I’m in charge.”
It works wonders! I no longer fear people; people fear me! And sure, my mom hates it when I do this at family gatherings, but I think Uncle George has finally started to respect me now.
I used to be hypercritical of every little thing I said at a party, but I’ve replaced that with being hypercritical of every single fucking person around me. Todd’s new job is a scam, his girlfriend is too good for him, and his prospects have never been lower. Get fucked, Tom! See? That didn’t drain my social battery at all!
Social anxiety is out, and blinding rage is in.
Replacing social anxiety with social fury is the best thing I could have done for my self-confidence. I bring such a crazy energy to brunch now that people have started sucking up to me, not the other way around! No one can quite pin down what my “deal” is and as a result, they find themselves craving my approval, which is awesome for me. I’ve never made more friends and I’ve never seen so many people cower as I approach.
So, if you’re struggling with irrational anxiety triggered by social situations, try getting really fucking mad and running with that. You won’t regret it! Worst comes to worst, you’ll stop getting invited to things, and baby, we call that a win!
