Between diets, new age trends, and medical fads, it’s hard to know what solutions out there actually work. Luckily, herbal supplements are a natural and effective way to keep your body healthy and your mind sharp. Here are the best supplements that will improve your quality of life, but will make your vaginal juices taste suuuper bad. Sorry, Alex!
White Bean Extract
This weight loss supplement is an all-natural ingredient that prevents carbs from being broken down into sugar. That means some guilt-free bread binges for you, and some very tart cunnilingus for your boyfriend, Alex. Sorry, babe, but this supplement makes your vag juices almost spicy. Totally worth the health benefits, though!
Salba
This grain’s got everything: antioxidants, calcium, magnesium, and omega 3 fatty acids. It dates all the way back to the Aztecs, who must have been surprised to find out that this super grain makes vagina juice taste strange, almost metallic. Take a note from the Aztecs and cleanse that weird pussy taste out of your mouth with maize, Alex!
Rhodiola
This botanical supplement, which is a rose root, is known to improve energy and focus. It also improves stamina, which is helpful when you’re involved in a particularly raunchy tryst. Better give Alex a heads up, though, because if he’s going down on you, he is not going to like what he tastes. Unfortunately Rhodiola makes your poon juicies nauseatingly sweet and, inexplicably, ice cold? Sorry, babe! Can’t explain that one!
Huperzia Serrata
This miraculous supplement fights against Alzheimer’s by helping your body create an enzyme that increases the chemical acetylcholine, which Alzheimer’s patients lack. But—although this special supplement helps your mind, it is not doing any favors for your cooch, making your vaginal juices thick like caramel and tasting like nail polish. Good news, though: If this supplement doesn’t work, you might not remember what your old, good vag juices were like in the first place (Alex will still remember, though.)!
Good self-care sometimes involves sacrifices, and with these herbal supplements, the sacrifice is mostly Alex’s. Take them to see an improvement in your health, and a sharp decline in the your vaginal flavor!
