5 Up-and-Coming Cities to Move To After You Sleep With Your Roommate

New York, L.A., Chicago, Portland, and Austin get a lot of love, but there are great cities all across the country that are becoming cultural and economic centers. And since you just slept with your roommate you have to get out of there, like now. These cities aren’t New York, but you gave up those dreams when you decided to bang someone you rent an apartment with. Here are the best up-and-coming cities that you can move to now:


Nashville, Tennessee

Nashville is a hub of live music and burgeoning auto and healthcare industries. None of this interest you? Well you’re going to have to settle after you snuck into your roommate’s room at 2 AM to “ask him for a Q-tip” and ended up bent over his beanbag chair. Have fun in this fourth-tier city!


Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Pittsburgh is a great place to live! There are theaters, the famous Andy Warhol Museum, and lots and lots of bridges. And speaking of bridges, it stinks that you burned a bridge with your roommate by going down on him on your sweet back patio that you can no longer enjoy. Since you technically weren’t on the lease and he’s been there the longest, it’s time for you to find a new home in this once-bustling milltown!


Minneapolis, Minnesota

Minneapolis is the birthplace of famous musician Prince, which is sort of cool. It’s also one of the most bike-friendly cities in America, which means getting around will be super easy; just like how easy it was to bang your roommate on your shared laminate countertop. He was just so THERE all the time, you know?


Burlington, Vermont

Burlington is the new hipster hangout with a focus on sustainability, where restaurants largely cook with local ingredients and residents get their groceries from co-ops. Don’t give a shit about the environment? You should have thought about that before you screwed your roommate against the exposed brick wall in your living room. Say goodbye to your home and hello to organic produce!



Asheville, North Carolina

You might have never heard of Asheville, but this southern gem has a great beer community as well as plenty of opportunities to escape into nature. True, you despise the outdoors, but you’ll have to get over that because you humped someone who doesn’t want to date you but does manage to see you before seven o’clock in the morning every day. Living in Asheville will still be better than awkwardly sharing a bathroom after this doozy!


Now that your roommate has seen you naked, it’s time to find a new place to live. These up-and-coming cities won’t meet your expectations at all, but they will help you forget that thing that happened that made everybody in the apartment feel super weird. Happy travels!