He Accepts Me For Who I Am: A Pizza-Loving Dick Vessel

When it comes to dating, women frequently feel obligated to change who they are to please a man, and no one is guiltier of that than me. Whether I was dealing with the general pressures of society, expectations from a particular boyfriend, or that nagging voice inside my head telling me I’m not enough, I would inhabit every relationship as some foreign version of myself. That’s why I was thrilled, after so many years of bending over backwards, to finally meet a man who loves me for exactly who I am: A pizza-loving vessel for dick.


Three months ago, I met Rob at a party. He was sexy, smart and totally charismatic. So I assumed he’d be like every other guy from my past — totally bored by me talking about my passions or my life story. But Rob was different. He was open, patient and receptive, particularly when asking me if I liked pizza and then immediately turning the conversation to sex and whether I’m willing to have it. And the more we focused on those two topics, the harder he fell.


Never before has a man accepted me so readily for who I am and loved me for all my complexities and contradictions. Rob understands that I’m not just a space where a penis can go, but I also enjoy eating pizza.


What can I say? I’ve got layers.


So what can we make of all those men from my past who never loved me for me? Who made me feel so self-conscious about my love for pizza and sex that is almost exclusively pleasurable for him? Who made me feel like I wasn’t enough, or that these interests weren’t interesting? In retrospect, it was all just practice to help me better define who I am on my own terms so that when Rob finally came into my life, I would already have embraced myself as the pizza-loving, cock-receiving person he loves.



You see, Rob never fails to remind me that I am enough, insofar as I am a top half for pizza and a top AND bottom half for dong. As a matter of fact, Rob doesn’t need me to be anything more. He doesn’t try to change me, because he thinks I’m perfect just the way I am.


So, to all the single ladies out there, what advice do I have? I know that dating is tough. I know most men seem judgmental, insensitive, or just plain disinterested in women as human beings. But don’t despair! If I could meet a man who treats me like the fully realized pepperoni-guzzling dick hole I am, anyone can.