After 29-year-old Erika Douglas was laid off from her administrative job last month, she tried various ways to get back on her feet. But during her struggle to find employment, she realized that she was spending far too much energy on searching for jobs on the internet, networking, and writing cover letters, so she decided to use all that energy to manifest a job instead.
Wow! We found the next Albert Einstein!
“When I hadn’t found a job after looking for one full week, I realized I had to change course,” Erika told reporters while burning incense she bought online that was part of a “job hunting” spell kit. “My frequency was totally off, and that’s obviously why no one was hiring me, but I’ve learned through doing these spiritual practices that you have to get your soul right before what you’re looking for can find you.”
After performing these manifestation rituals for a few weeks now, Erika is still hopeful that she will find her dream job any day now.
“Sure, I could drive myself crazy checking job sites and applying to anything that has my qualifications,” she told reporters. “Or I could do something actually productive by attracting these hiring managers to simply reach out to me. It’s a pretty easy choice.”
She’s literally so smart!
Despite Erika’s dedication to her new job searching technique, the people closest to her seem to be pretty skeptical.
“I agree that the power of positive thinking can help when you’re trying to achieve a certain goal,” Erika’s roommate, Josie Brown, told reporters. “But Erika’s part of the rent has been late for three weeks now, and I think if she put a fraction of the effort she’s putting into her spells into applying for jobs, she’d probably be getting paid by now.”
However, Erika doesn’t allow the disapproval of others to bring her away from her employed destiny.
“Maybe I could have gotten a job by now if I kept applying online,” she said. “But would it really be the right job for me? I’ll let my spirit guides handle my career, thank you very much.”
Okay, brainiac!
At press time, Erika had purchased eight more spell kits and was still waiting for a hiring manager looking for a CEO to knock on her door.
