Learning about makeup can be overwhelming! To help you out, we’ve narrowed down the art and science of makeup to these six tips that you can easily add to your makeup routine and then rely on so much that you feel like you can never, ever, ever stop until you die. You’ll love these tips so much, you’ll be able to do them every single day until your final breath leaves your body.
When applying blush, smile so you can apply directly to the apple of your cheek and maybe you’ll forget about how each day you’re doing this is bringing you one step closer to the end. The naturally flushed look you end up with will become increasingly important as your face gradually transforms from dewy and bright to deathly pallor.
Contour every morning so you’re late to work every day for the rest of your life! With just three shades of foundation, you’ll finally know that your face was craving that definition and now that you know that, you’ll never ever stop, not even on your deathbed. Cool!
Eyebrow pencil proves that makeup can be fun and functional and a part of your life forever, outlasting all of your personal and romantic relationships. Your eyebrows may get grayer as you age, but they’ll never magically be the right thickness and shape for your slowly decaying face!
A cat eye will make your eyes pop, which will come in handy in your 20s when you’re trying to meet a man or several years later when you’ve lost your ability to speak. As a bonus, maybe your cats won’t eat you if you die alone with a cat eye that’s so on point, they’ll think you’re one of them!
Use a peach colored concealer under your eyes, now more, now even more, keep going, don’t ever stop. You’re only going to continue looking more tired as the years pass and your job gets more exhausting and your children are keeping you up all night, so cake it on to continue gaining the respect of your loved ones and strangers you don’t even care about until you’ve lost the ability to care entirely.
Highlighting can give your face new life, not literally, you’re still going to die one day, but at least you’ll die with glowing cheekbones. Believe us! You’ll love this trick so much, you’ll add a section to your will where your daughter can only inherit her portion of your wealth if she properly highlights your face for your funeral.
Now that you’ve got your new routine in place, you’ll be saying, “Til death do us part!”
