Foreign Woman Unaware How Annoying Her American Boyfriend Is

While coworkers of Patrick Casey were surprised to discover he had a girlfriend, the details of his relationship fell in to place when Casey brought the woman in question, Mai Saito, to the office Christmas party last Friday. Saito appears to be blissfully unaware that his peers find him incredibly annoying.


“At first I was like, ‘How did he manage to nab such a beautiful girl?’ says Michael Lesser, who shares a cubicle with Patrick. “But then I was like ohhhh, she’s Japanese! It makes perfect sense now because she can’t speak English very well and must not fully understand the annoying tone and content of what he’s saying.”


Emails had circulated around the office as soon as Casey mentioned his new girlfriend back in October, speculating on the authenticity of his claim. Many questioned whether a man who pestered everyone to attend his “Star Wars Trivia Night” while doing the voices of the characters could find a compatible mate.



“At first I felt bad for her,” says Regina Marbella. “But then I found out she’s new to the country and realized she’s probably just happy for anyone to talk to. I imagine she’ll realize it soon enough.”


Coworkers suspect that her limited understanding of the English language allows Patrick’s weird interjections and creepy texts to go largely unnoticed.


“They met at Peet’s Coffee down the street, which is so typical of Patrick to bother some tired stranger early in the morning,” adds Bergman. “Anyway, I told her I might know Japanese people who could show her around town. I’m hoping they can gently explain to her what a mistake she’s made.”


Everyone agrees the relationship is likely to be short-lived, assuming Ms. Saito acclimates to the culture.