Feminist Win! The New iPhone Syncs with Your Period and Bleeds Once a Month

Rumors are swirling about Apple’s iPhone 8. Many people are excited for its larger display screen and wireless charging, but the new phone will also feature the feminist win of the century: It will sync with your period and bleed every month.


“We really wanted to find a way to reach more female consumers,” says Tim Cook, CEO of Apple. “All of us male executives sat around and thought, ‘Well, we know they get periods. So there’s probably something there.’”


After just one month of sitting in your pocket, the iPhone 8 will memorize your menstrual cycle so you never have to bleed alone. Even more incredibly, it will also match your flow! If you’re having a heavy day, so will your iPhone. Because getting your period can be tiring, Apple’s new gadget has been designed to ensure you always have someone sharing the experience right by your side!


Of course, in classic Apple style, you can sync your phone’s period with your Macbook, Apple Watch and any other Apple device you have, so they can bleed too! Wow. The geniuses at Apple know exactly what women want!


Proving once again they’re on the cutting edge of technology, Apple has also mastered the effects of PMS for the new iPhone. For instance, Siri now simply orders a grilled cheese sandwich the minute she gets her monthly flow. The iPhone 8 will also have the ability to cue YouTube videos that correspond with your emotional highs and lows. When you’re feeling sad and vulnerable, it will cue videos of classic movies that will make you cry, and when you’re feeling more upbeat, it will play videos of unlikely animal friendships that will also make you cry!



It seems like Apple has thought of nearly everything. However, your iPhone still requires menstrual care, just like you! That’s why Apple will be selling diva cups for your phone starting at just $85! They can be inserted via the phone’s headphone jack, and only need to be changed once every 24 hours.


Apple has really outdone themselves with these new female-friendly features. The iPhone 8 syncing with your period is an amazing feminist move that will completely change the way women view their cell phones, and also their periods. Thanks, Apple!