Elaborate Lies to Get Out of Something You Could Have Said No to Without an Explanation

Have you been invited to a social engagement that you have no interest in attending but feel weird declining without a reason? Instead of simply saying, “Sorry, I can’t, but thanks for the invite,” try out some of these super elaborate lies that will leave others thinking, “Um, okay. Good luck with that, I guess.”


“I’m moving to Russia”

You can’t go to that brunch if you’re in Russia! If they ask what part of Russia you’re moving to, just say ‘the middle’ and if they ask why just say ‘for the opportunities.’ Before long, they’ll give up and move on to another topic. All of this is more stressful than if you just politely said no, but it’ll get the job done.


“I am throwing out the first pitch at a Yankees game”

Why would you, a 25-year-old barista, be throwing out the first pitch at a Yankees game? Don’t worry about it! The point is that you have now offered an explanation of a previous engagement, even though you could have just taken a rain check without getting into it at all.


“I have an audition for Teen Jeopardy

It has always been your dream to be on Teen Jeopardy, and according to this lie, now is your chance. It doesn’t matter that you’re not a teen – the point is that you’ll be too busy brushing up on Greek mythology to go to that baby shower, even though you’re not close with the mother at all and she doesn’t need a reason why you can’t come.


“I have to take my mom to her audition for Teen Jeopardy

Kick it up a notch by suggesting that your mom is auditioning for Teen Jeopardy. If anyone tries to ask whether your mom is a teen, just say that it’s rude to inquire about her age. All of this will draw much more suspicion to you than if you just declined without an explanation, but hey, it works!


“I am doing a clinical trial for this surgery that allows you to see more colors”

Who wouldn’t want to see more colors? Then if people ask you later on about the surgery and what your vision looks like, you can say, “Yeah, I can see this new type of blue that’s kind of red, but not in a purple way? It’s hard to explain.” They’re not going to be able to imagine it anyway. This one’s extra wild and totally needless!



“I’m going to officiate a wedding at the aquarium, but I need to get ordained first, not just like online, but through a seminary because the couple is really religious, so I’ll actually be out of town doing that for a while, and then after the wedding I’m going to be climbing Mount Rainier, so I’m not really free for the rest of the year.”

Layered. Unhinged. Completely unnecessary. We love it.


We hope these elaborate lies save you from whatever it is you’re trying to get out of even though you don’t actually need to deploy them at all. Remember, nothing’s too outlandish – reach for the stars!