Nothing says “I’m a badass” like edgy, intricate braids. But if you continue using your boyfriend’s beautiful long hair to practice on, he’s probably going to leave you. He has a busy schedule, a sensitive scalp, and a fragile sense of masculinity—he just can’t take it anymore! Here are some rock ‘n’ roll braids you should start trying on your own hair (and stop trying on his) before you destroy your relationship.
Zig-Zag Waterfall Braid
This bold look takes the standard waterfall braid and makes an unexpected diagonal twist—almost as unexpected as when your boyfriend gets fed up and demands you stop experimenting on his luscious locks. Sure, this braid is super tricky and you need to practice on something, but that’s why you never should’ve gotten rid of your American Girl dolls. Remember: Your boyfriend is a human man; not a doll.
Mohawk Coiled Braid
A giant, mohawked braid is sure to turn heads! Just make sure your attempt to master it on your boyfriend Brad doesn’t cause his head to start turning to other women who won’t make him feel like he’s constantly at a girl’s slumber party every night of the goddamn week.
Undone Fishtail
This braid is messy and wild—just like what your once-lovely relationship has turned into now that your braid-obsession has reached new heights and you keep trying to practice braids in Greg’s hair while he sleeps. Honestly, you know it will wake him up. So why do it?
Half-Hair Side Braid
Don’t have the guts to do the half shave look? Braid one side of his—we mean, your hair—into tiny braids, and you can get a similar look without the risk. But make sure you only practice on your guy once or twice or he will seriously leave you in the dust like the braid-spaz that you are. Seriously, what’s going on with you and braids?
Triple-Knot Braid
We know what you’re thinking: Gosh, this looks complicated, and if I don’t try it out six or seven times on Mike first, it’ll look so ratchet when I try and pull it off at Karen’s party Friday. You’re not wrong, but you’re also a really exhausting girlfriend. Are you ready to be single again?
Exploding Basketweave Braid
This braid will add instant drama to your look and also to your life, if you stress about it so much that you demand Derek let you practice on him nightly in place of sex. This is over and it’s all your fault.
Sure, you could stick with fishtail braids or French braids or even milkmaid braids. And yeah, why should your rock ‘n’ roll braid dreams take a backseat to the man you may want to spend the rest of your life with? But seriously, don’t push it.
