In a developing story coming out of Dimes Square in New York City, 25-year-old Kelsy MacDonald has recently been deemed an “edgelord” due to her distaste for identity politics and reactionary outlook, which comes as a surprise since these are the same exact beliefs her boring grandparents held.
“Being a trad wife is actually so empowering,” Kelsy said on her podcast alongside her fellow white and rich co-host, Lea Marks. “I don’t want to think about anything. I’d rather just sit at home and watch TV while my husband works and plans out everything for me, and I don’t care if that goes against whatever the feminists are saying right now.”
Upon hearing this soundbite, Kelsy’s grandmother, Venicia MacDonald, expressed her appreciation for and recognition of her granddaughter’s statements.
“I also loved trying to get as much attention as possible at any cost when I was younger, so I really see myself in her,” Venicia told reporters. “Nothing gave me more joy in my life than getting married at 18 and not being able to have an opinion for over 50 years, and I’m so happy she recognizes that.”
When asked if she considers herself “reactionary” or “edgy,” Venicia appeared offended by the question.
“Oh, god, no,” she said. “I was the most average, normal person back in my youth. I never said anything out of the ordinary. That was just how everyone thought back then.”
After being asked what “everyone” means to her, Venicia clarified that she strictly meant rich white people, which were the only people she chose to interact with, and still only does to this day.
Venicia also revealed that, like her granddaughter, she also uses a variety of racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, and ableist slurs.
“I don’t know why anyone cares what I have to say,” Kelsy told reporters. “I don’t know everything, and I’ve never pretended to, so what does any of it even matter?”
Venicia wholeheartedly agreed with Kelsy’s statements, as they both have said abominable things regarding people with less social and political power than them while wielding the immense privilege of being white women in the United States.
When asked if she was close to her grandmother, Kelsy responded, “Ew, no, I hate old people. Unless that’s what’s popular to say right now. In which case, I love her!”
