Contrary to what you may think, beauty experts have discovered that the perfect lipstick color isn’t the color of your nipples: It’s the color of your poop.
“We kept experimenting with nipple shades, but something just seemed off,” says cosmetic engineer Kelly Krippen. “We noticed once we started transitioning away from nudes and skin tones and instead matching lip palettes to our own shit, we were able to find lipstick shades that truly complemented our skin tones.”
Sure, it may seem unconventional, but beauty vloggers and celebrities alike swear by it. In fact, many have taken to Instagram to share their secrets to perfecting their shit-shaded lip. Skeptical, we reached out to celebrity makeup artist Deb Hudson for her expert opinion on the trend.
“Browns, blacks, and, even mustards and shades of greens really make your natural skin tone pop, whereas the nudes found in the nipple-based shades tend to wash your skin out,” Hudson says.
The possibilities are truly endless, Hudson explains, because depending on what you eat, you could work with a totally different palette each day. If you’re looking to try out a rosy hue for a fun and flirty date night, try incorporating beets into your diet, then match your lipstick to your subsequent bowel movement. For darker shades, like a black or a muddy brown, Hudson recommends having a bit of Pepto Bismol earlier in the day as this tends to darken stools, making for an exotic and captivating evening lip.
Since the discovery, major beauty brands have begun testing out various shades. The most popular products on the market so far have been Plums & Poo and Chill Brown No Frown.
“When I first learned about this beauty trend, I couldn’t believe it. Like, all of a sudden, my minifeed was filled with photos of poop,” 26-year-old Lexy Hooper admits. “But then I kept seeing all these influencers posting before-and-after photos and their makeup looked killer, so I thought what the hell, let’s give this a go.”
Hooper explains how after she took a dump after binge eating carrots one morning, she snapped a photo of her feces and went out and bought a tube of Crap o’ Carrots. “The orange hue totally made my skin glow!” Hooper confesses. “I really felt beautiful in my own skin. Let’s just say I’ll definitely be paying attention to my crap more often.”
There you have it! If you’ve been struggling to find the ideal lip, look no further than your own toilet. Just remember: you’re not smearing the actual poop on your lips. That’s a rookie mistake. You’re just using the poop hue as inspiration.
So next time you find yourself debating between adding either kale or blueberries to your salad, just think: do you want to apply a green lip tonight or do you want blue?
