In a disturbing story emerging from the dentist’s office you’re currently occupying, it seems like the dentist has arrived to simply coast off all the hard work the dental assistant has done thus far.
“It just feels like a quintessential group project,” you told reporters with several medical instruments still in your mouth, which made you nearly unintelligible. “I mean, the dental assistant has been cleaning my teeth for 30 minutes and the dentist is just going to waltz in here and take credit? I’d be furious.”
According to sources at the dentist’s office, this is pretty much how the job works.
“Yeah, I’d say I’m carrying 95% of this team,” your dental assistant, Kiara Yashimoto, told reporters while cleaning utensils with the ease of a seasoned pro, even taking the time to flip them in the air. “I’ve made that mouth over there squeaky clean, and now Dr. Matthew Stern gets to come in here, poke around for a sec, and say, ‘Yup! You’re all good to go!’ That’s just the system, baby.”
Sources confirm Dr. Stern entered the office right on cue, took a pointy thing and a mirror thing – medically speaking – and made a big fuss about looking in your mouth.
“Oops, looks like we missed some plaque right here,” he said, miming using the instrument to clean your gums because there clearly was nothing there. “Good thing I got that plaque just now, because it would have caused a lot of problems down the road. Another great save from the dentist!”
Kiara was seen shaking her head in the corner.
“Oh, and what’s this!” Dr. Stern continued, really playing it up this time. “Gum recession! Scary stuff! We should probably give you a referral to that guy I know, huh?”
Dr. Stern then shot a look at Kiara that suggested he did not remember to whom he should refer you.
“Ah yes,” Kiara said, playing along like her job depended on it, because it does. “Dr. Rodriguez’s office! I think you wrote down the number right here, Dr. Stern.”
She then handed him a slip of paper with all the relevant names, office addresses, and phone numbers for the referral.
As of press time, you’d thanked both of them but shot Kiara a knowing look that said, “I see you, queen,” before leaving the office. Sources confirm you had fourteen cavities.
