Dating App Just Matches People Based on Good Timing in Their Lives


Singles rejoice: The much-hyped new dating app, Timer, launched earlier this week with the claim that it will match singles based on nothing but their current situations in life. Users briefly summarize what their deal is at the moment―no silly questions about favorite colors or noises―and suggested matches either swipe left for “I’m just in a weird place right now,” or swipe right for, “This feels right for right now.”


“The app pairs you with singles who are totally at the same point in their lives and that’s it,” says founder Jen Tenzer. According to Tenzer, Timer uses an advanced algorithm that sorts users by things like recent breakup, just moved to a new city, career is going well, and needs to get married ASAP due to being on Year Four of their five-year plan. “We’re proud to announce that we’re already responsible for over 5,000 relationships based on convenience.”


“The inspiration for Timer really came from my personal life,” Tenzer reveals. “I’d just moved cross-country from Cincinnati and was tired of eating rotini all by myself. I was pretty much ready for anyone. I ended up seriously dating a guy who always wore a sweat band, even when he wasn’t at the gym. If an app like Timer had existed, I’d have found that glitch of a man immediately, rather than waiting for chance to bring us sort of together.”



She adds, “We’re still good friends, which is totally okay with my current boyfriend.” Tenzer met her boyfriend at his girlfriend’s going-away party. “They’re poly,” she beams.


Timer uses a compatibility formula that prioritizes the immediacy of your emotional needs before more traditional concerns like having things in common, physical attractiveness preferences, and long-term reality in general. For example, Timer is designed not to pair users with that guy on their hall a month before graduation. But if the situation happens anyways the app would find a perfectly adequate substitute in the aftermath.


Users at all kinds of opportune moments love Timer. “It’s how I met my husband,” says beta tester Maddie Dunkle, “My dance supply store had finally started making a profit, so I felt secure enough to become immediately married because why not? Brian, my husband, is fine. He collects blenders. His timing though? Undeniable.”


“Timer matched me according to what really matters, which is that I’d just been dumped in my ex’s garage and was pretty much down for whatever,” says Alice Kim, another satisfied user. “Now I’m dating a guy who keeps trying to dustbust the sheets after we have sex, and I have to tell him, ‘No, stop doing that.’” She giggles, adding, “He’s alive, unmarried, not about to move away, and over 18. He’s perfect!”


For users looking to date someone who’s currently available, Timer is the perfect app designed to take that need, blow it way out of proportion, and cause you to commit to people you normally wouldn’t. Download Timer now and see what decent matches you’ll accept for now—or maybe even for life!