Co-Star Really Out For Blood Today

In a developing story out of San Diego, CA, 25-year-old Mica DeVane’s Co-Star app is absolutely out for blood today.


“I woke up this morning to a Co-Star notification that said ‘Are you bored or just boring?’,” said Mica. “Like, what are you trying to say, exactly? That’s actually kind of mean.”


Mica, who actually doesn’t even believe in astrology and just downloaded Co-Star for fun, went on to explain the blatant disrespect that the app has been showing her.


“Besides that rude-ass push notification, it’s also showing me that I have trouble in thinking, creativity, spirituality, social life, sex and love, self, and pressure in work today,” she said. “I don’t have power in a single category.”


“It feels like Co-Star is gaslighting me,” she added.


Mica’s friends confirm that they are having similar experiences with Co-Star.


“A few days ago, my Co-Star notification said ‘What you lack in confidence, you make up for in arrogance,’” said Darlene Ko. “I’ve been thinking about it all week. I’m being abused by an app.”


“Yeah, mine told me it was ‘unwise to spend my money today’,” said Teresa Knowlton. “It knows damn well that I had to pay all my old parking tickets to renew my license today. Seriously, fuck Co-Star.”


“Astrology is real, Teresa added. “But this app is being abusive.”


“Our app is designed to give users a higher understanding of their astrological place in the world,” says one representative from Co-Star. “However, if a user has a lot of Gemini or Scorpio alignments, or just has a shit natal chart, their feedback may not be all positive.”


“Perhaps these users should’ve been born at a different time or location,” the spokesperson added. “That’s not our responsibility.”