It’s true; I don’t want children – but I do want to share adorable photos of my uterus with my friends and family. Why should pregnant ladies have the monopoly on showing off their wombs? I have an IUD, so I’m participating in a rite of passage that all women of child-bearing years should get to experience: sharing a sonogram with my friends and family.
Check out this completely exciting fuzzy image of my birth-controlled uterus! Looks pretty wild, doesn’t it? Okay, I’ll walk you through it. My IUD is only the size of a quarter. So cute! Yes, it’s making me cramp right now, but those little metal arms are so expressive already, aren’t they? And look at the tiny strings! Aww. I know the little guy is just dying to get out of my belly, but sorry buddy, we’re not there yet!
Now, don’t ask if it’s a Mirena or a Paraguard: when the doc installed it, I told her I wanted it to be a surprise! So for now we’ll just wait and see, won’t we – I have my guesses!
I’m going to make this sonogram my profile pic so that everyone knows what’s going on with me. I’m also devoting an entire Instagram account (@instaSonogram) to future sonograms. A sonogram is like the ultimate selfie – one that lets future lovers know that I’m fun, safe, and attractive outside…and in.
