Biden Says VP Pick Is Between Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, and A Beautiful Lady Ostrich

Joe Biden announced at a fundraiser yesterday that he will soon be announcing his VP pick from a list of potential female candidates: Elizabeth Warren (MA), Kamala Harris (CA), or a beautiful lady ostrich named Sandra (San Diego Zoo).


Biden announced during the Democratic primary debates that he would choose a woman as his running mate. Since then, several former presidential candidates have made it to the shortlist, including Sandra, the prettiest lady Ostrich presumably part of the Democratic party.


“I’ll tell you now, I’m gonna pick a woman as my running mate,” Joe Biden repeated to reporters this week. “I don’t care who, as long as she’s got what it takes.”


When asked to clarify, he responded, “You know, she needs to be a lady.”


And that’s how sources lead to Biden’s dark horse pick: Sandra, a beautiful mother of 30 with no political experience.



While sources note that several women are being strongly considered, many are concerned that giving up Warren’s senate seat could be a liability in the future, or that Harris’ tenure as a prosecutor may anger the progressive wing of the party.


But nobody has anything to say about Sandra – except, wow, what a large, beautiful, female bird.


“What really matters is that she’s female,” Biden repeated. “A beautiful, beautiful female.”