Here’s Why I Cross the Street When I See a White Family

Often, when walking down the street, my spidey senses start to tingle and I look up to see a white family approaching me. So, I do the most logical thing for someone like me to do: I plan my escape. Here are four reasons why I cross the street whenever I see a white family walking toward me:


I would like to get to my destination safely.

Other than the obvious years of racial violence and cases of white people calling the police on Black people ­– have you seen Midsommar? Some might say that it’s just a movie but it’s more than that. It’s a cautionary tale. You simply cannot trust a group of white people who go on walks for fun and are related to each other. They’ll welcome you into their community, lull you into a false sense of security and no one will know what happened to you until there are 15 minutes left in the movie.


Packs of white people scare me.

In a way, all families scare me. However, white people tend to travel in packs. It is simply unnatural. They have to be planning something. Like, are they going to Whole Foods or a klan rally? I can never tell. There are too many generations of white faces walking toward me for me to feel comfortable.


They have a tendency to steal.

They’ve stolen entire continents, what makes you think they won’t pickpocket me? I grip my tote bag a little tighter than usual outside of Trader Joe’s just to be safe.



I’m a reverse racist.

Yeah, I’ll admit it.


So yes, white families make me uncomfortable. And yes, I’m not afraid to admit it. Will I continue to cross the street when I see a white family that looks fresh off an Old Navy ad? Absolutely. It is simply my right and duty as a freedom-loving American.