Woman Covered in Delicate Floral Tattoos Hates the Outdoors

Despite being absolutely covered in delicate botanical ink all over her body, Colorado resident Florence Stone emphasized just how much she can’t stand the outdoors.


“Each flower has its own unique story,” says Florence, who once left a three-day camping trip after seeing a single spider. “I got this rose after my high school boyfriend bought me a bouquet on my birthday. These daisies are for my mother. My best friend and I got these matching sunflowers after we graduated college.”



Sources say that Florence can’t stand being outside for more than 10 minutes without having a mild panic attack about plants.


“It’s so strange. Her name literally means ‘flowering’ in Latin,” Ava Stone, Florence’s older sister. “But when we were younger she would literally scream at the top of her lungs if a blade of grass touched her. It seems she only likes flowers in the strictly metaphorical sense.”


While the thought of walking through a field of sunflowers makes Florence queasy, she is scheduled to have a line-drawn sternum tattoo of a cherry blossom tree completed next week.

“She wants me to go with her,” Ava says. “I told her I couldn’t because I had to do some gardening and she just started crying. It’s been three days and I haven’t heard from her.”


“I can’t trust anyone who voluntarily goes into the woods,” Florence says. “Anyways, I’m going to go look at these cherry blossom designs!”