Beto Made Me Wet, but Ocasio-Cortez is FLOODING My Pants

It’s no secret to anyone who reads real news that we had some exciting candidates running for office this fall. While I understand Beto was a popular liberal crush and I will admit I entertained the occasional daydream of him ramming me in a campaign office closet, the left-leaning candidate wielding the most fuck power is clearly Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez. I mean, just look at her. Watch anything she does. I’m watching closely. And I like it.


Beto wore a dress once and that was pretty sexy. But Ocasio-Cortez is nonstop fierce fire and that is making me sweat. She led a protest on climate change. She’s refusing to suck Amazon’s dick, unlike Cuomo. She stands on tables, which is a surefire way to guarantee blood will rush to my genitals and make my panties damp.


I’m not saying I would kick Beto out of bed. He’s undeniably adorable! But Ocasio-Cortez looks amazingly sensual and cover-ready in her signature red lip but is also hot AF just chillin’ with no makeup on making mac and cheese in her kitchen on Instagram live. Basically however she looks I am drooling downstairs. I can’t help it, but she makes me wetter than an ocean, and I’ll stand by that.



Beto is a golden boy out of central casting in the 1940s. He’s Jimmy Stewart with a bigger dick. I don’t not want it, so don’t come at me! But Ocasio-Cortez is giving us former-bartender-can-still-barely-afford-an-apartment realness. She’s who I want fighting for me to have healthcare and housing and she’s who has ruined another pair of my underwear. Cause of me being wet as fuck, of course!


To all the people who feel differently, I agree that Beto is a smart guy you want to teach you a sexy lesson. But Ocasio-Cortez has the fierce nerd passion that makes your body absolutely leak. I genuinely hope Beto continues to find ways to lead and build coalitions. And I know Ocasio-Cortez will continue being a hot bitch who turns my vagina into a faucet.