Babe! Call Me Babe, Babe!

Hey Babe. It’s me, Babe.


So Babe, I’ve been meaning to bring up a babe-related problem for my little babe. Yes Babe, I do mean you! Jesus, Babe! That’s the problem.


I feel like, if we’re gonna be each other’s babes, I shouldn’t be carrying the whole babe-load. As your babe of eight months, I want everyone around us, at all times, to know we’re babes and you’re just content to be my babe. How do you think that makes me feel, Babe, when you insist on calling me “Deb?” Bad, Babe! It makes me feel bad.


Take a look at this graph I made. This line up here denotes the “Babes” I direct to you in an average day. Now Babe, this line down here? Well… I think you know what this line is represents, don’t you, Babe? That’s right, babes directed toward me! Look! The babe-to-babe ratio is entirely askew, Babe!


I propose a babe incentive program. Babe, can you click to the next slide? Thanks Babe. “Babes: Distribution and Growth Through First Quarter 2015.” Slide two please, Babe. Babe. Babe? Next slide, Babe? Babe? Babe? What’s wrong, Babe?



You don’t like pet names?! Babe this is hard for me to do, but you’re fired. This shouldn’t be a surprise, your babes have been slipping for quite some time and Babe, frankly?  I think you babe-want this babe-more than anyone. Pack up your babe and babe.


An armed babe will be up shortly to escort you to the babe. It’s been babe and I’m happy to write you a glowing babe. Good luck and good babe.