Aww! This Woman Is Furious at Her Neighbors for Recycling Wrong Even Though ExxonMobil Exists

In a cute, sad story out of Manhattan, NY, Elisha Price is absolutely furious at her neighbors for recycling wrong, even though ExxonMobil exists.


“It is so fucking infuriating when I go to take out my recycling, and see that my neighbors have put soft plastics, cardboard, and even random trash into our glass and hard plastic recycling bin,” says Elisha, out of breath with anger at the people of her building even though the massive corporations that are predominantly responsible for CO2 emissions are still profiting while irreversibly destroying the planet. “Stop being so selfish.”


“When I see the flagrant way my neighbors don’t give a shit about recycling, it just makes me feel hopeless,” adds Elisha, who has valid reasons to feel hopeless, betrayed, and powerless, but more because Big Oil money runs Washington and less because of her inconsiderate neighbors. “Why can’t they just do their part to stop climate change?”


“It’s just like, I’m doing my part!” Elisha says. “And that’s all being undone by these assholes throwing their used paper towels into a recycling bin.”


Aww! What a futile little uphill battle this is.


A close source, Elisha’s roommate Fatima Duncan, weighed in on the story.


“I think she just has a lot of anger about climate crisis and it’s easier to direct it at close people she can conceive of,” Fatima says. “Or who knows, maybe it’s not even about climate change and she’s just pissed off by rule breaking. This could be about almost anything, actually.”


But not everyone sees it that way.


“Elisha is right to be mad!” says fossil fuel lobbyist, Eric Porter. “Recycling is an important way individuals can do their part to keep the Earth happy. Not to overstep, but Elisha’s neighbors really are pieces of shit for this, and she should continue to direct all of her anger at them.”


“And always remember,” Eric adds. “BP creates tens of thousands of jobs for Americans, who can then take their earnings and buy metal straws. Go energy! We have no way of knowing if climate change is real.”


Compelling. But in the face of varying perspectives, Elisha currently plans to change nothing about her behavior.



“I’m just sick of this shit,” she says. “Ooh, maybe I’ll print out passive aggressive flyers about it and post them all over the building.”


Oh, girl! :(