Housewife? This Woman Does Basic Things to Take Care of Herself

In her Baltimore, MA apartment, Cassidy, has taken groundbreaking lifestyle changes towards being a housewife…for herself.


“I’ve settled into my homemaker lifestyle, I started doing my own laundry instead of letting it pile up on the floor,” says Cassidy. “I used to never make my bed, or do my dishes, but now I just do those things. It’s kind of insane.”


“Before I became my own housewife, it would take me three red bulls, a panic attack, and a beer before I could clean,” Cassidy says. “But now I’ve realized I’m happier when I don’t live in squalor. Guess I’m a tradwife!”


Cassidy made the change to domesticity when she found a mouse and squirrel all cohabitating under her couch cushion.


“That’s when I knew it had gone too far,” she says. “The animals claimed squatter rights and I had to leave, but my new apartment has changed me for the better. I’m my own wife, mother, and maid. By which I mean I feed myself vegetables sometimes and regularly take out of the trash.”


Now that’s a woman who can take of herself!



“People always ask me why I consider myself a housewife when I have no children, no husband, not even a pet,” Cassidy says. “I do live in a studio by myself, but I’m a housewife, because I know how to clean in sad, seductive and dramatic ways! And I do it all for me.”


Now Cassidy even enjoys vacuuming her floor with the grace and volatility of 1950’s housewife.


“I’ve found that if you clean your floors, then you can walk barefoot without the bottoms of your feet turning black!”


Okay, call Betty Draper and tell her she’s got some competition, because Cassidy is the housewife of our dreams!