Aww! Woman Stills Believes She’ll Learn How to Skateboard Before She Dies

In an inspiring story out of Reno, NV, Allison Banks is still clinging to the unwarranted belief that she’s actually going to pick up skateboarding at some point before she dies.


“Yeah, I’m still planning on learning how to skateboard,” said Allison, a 32-year-old corporate marketing manager. “I’ve harbored a desire to try it out for the past couple decades or so – so, now’s as good a time as ever, right? Or maybe in a few months. I’m pretty slammed at work right now.”


“I know I’ll be able to do a kickflip, it’s just finding the time in my 9-5 workday that’s the hard part. Like, I have the kick part down, it’s just the flip that’s giving me trouble, and not owning a skateboard.”


What a sweet outlook that makes everyone feel a little sad for her!


Allison says skateboarding is something she’s wanted to do ever since she was a child.


“I remember walking past one of those indoor half pipes at the mall when I was nine, and just thinking, ‘That’ll be me one day.’ Granted, I was thinking ‘one day’ meant maybe when I was 12 or 13 – not after the better part of two decades. But hey! Everyone does life at their own pace.”


“Did I think I would get my master’s degree before learning to ollie?” Allison adds. “No, but I also didn’t expect to be living with roommates at 32. You never really know what life has in store for you!”


While some see skateboarding as just a pastime for teenagers, Allison sees things a little differently.


“I saw a video of a super old pug skateboarding once and it made me think, ‘Why not me?’”


In addition to old dogs, Allison also finds friends and family to be sources of inspiration to finally pick up skateboarding.


“My nephew Aidan actually just learned, so it’s only natural that I’m next. Maybe he’ll let me borrow his elbow pad,” she says..” Not that it even matters, I’m already pretty fucked up with tennis elbow. Yeah, the doctor said I got it from sitting at my desk, can you believe that?”


But Allison remainds assured and confident despite having no reason to be.



“Worst case scenario: I’ll just get into it after I retire,” Allison says. “I mean, I’ll just have so much time to dedicate to it then and retirees are always picking up new hobbies. And if I end up getting really good and need to start travelling to skateboarding competitions, I’ll have the time, funds, and airline miles to do so! Summer Olympics 2064 here I come!”


Aww! We love her misguided optimism and her disconcertingly positive outlook for the state of the world in 2065.