This Realistic Vibrator’s Battery Dies Before You Can Come

There’s no true substitute for sex between two people, but with the newest vibrator on the market, you can get pretty close: That’s right, this vibrator was designed so that the battery dies precisely when you’re about to come.


The vibrator, “Was That Good 4U,” closely mimics the experience of sex with a man by doing a decent job for a period of time, but ultimately ceasing to function before you orgasm. What a feat of modern technology!


“We looked at other vibrators on the market, and they were so amazing,” says designer Kelli McConnell. “But a man isn’t going to make you have multiple orgasms in under ten minutes. So we decided to design a vibrator that provides a more honest experience.”


The toy, which closely resembles a middle finger, has been hailed by websites as “accurate,” “eerily true to life,” and “kind of expensive.”


“I really miss my boyfriend, even though our sex life was never great,” says one user, Alisa Lopez. “But this vibrator is so convincing! It starts off strong, then gets sort of tired, before rallying and getting me really close… right before it dies.”


“Sometimes I get lucky and end up coming,” says another user, who wishes to remain anonymous. “But it’s usually just a fluke after switching rapidly between different speeds and rhythms.”


For those wishing for their vibrator to be more lifelike, the “Was That Good4U” has a “follow-up” feature, in which the vibrator plays a recording before shutting off, asking one of ten questions, including “How was it?” and “Did ya…did ya come?”


“I knew the vibrator was realistic, but I had no idea how realistic it would be,” says Lopez. “I thought I could just replace the batteries after it died and get right back into it, but the battery compartment won’t even open for three hours after it dies.”



Wow! This vibrator really is a dream come true!


“For some reason, women seem to love men, and so we were determined to provide a genuine experience from start to almost-finish,” McConnell explains. “In the future, we hope to add even more features, like loud snoring immediately after use and a sensor that can comment on your pubic hair situation.”


So can this vibrator replace your sex partners completely? You’ll just have to try it to find out!