As a Mom, I Hope and Pray That You Put Marijuana Edibles in My Kid’s Halloween Bag

Halloween is around the corner, and on a night where we send our children to knock on strangers’ doors, it’s only natural that parents get a little concerned about what our kiddos might encounter. In reality, the vast majority of households will just be giving our children tiny treats from grocery store variety packs, and there’s no precedent to make us think otherwise. However, as a mom, I still have to hope and pray that you put marijuana edibles in my kid’s Halloween bag.


And please – make sure they are the good ones.


On Hallow’s Eve, we are called to place great trust in our community. My Sebastian is going trick-or-treating unsupervised with a group of friends for the first time this year. I believe in the good of humanity, but I will still be scouring through his bag of loot when he arrives home, and I will be devastated if there is not at least a 10 mg mint, a THC-loaded nerds rope, even a homemade and sketchily wrapped pot brownie in there. Show some respect to your neighbors!


Before you have kids, Halloween is all about partying all night and throwing up and/or swallowing your vampire fangs by morning. But when you’re a parent that changes. My child is my first care and responsibility now. I can’t be drunk when he gets home from his candy voyage, so at the very least I should be able to get a little buzz from a weed lollipop or gummy that was dropped into his plastic Jack-o-lantern bucket by some anonymous angel.


A lot of people will say that my hope is unrealistic. They’ll say that edibles are way more expensive than regular candy, and why would anyone simply give their drugs away to children? I hear those questions, and my answer is, I don’t know, just a little thing called altruism? How about rather than arguing why this would never happen, you make it happen by go and getting some Peanut Butter CannaCups and putting them in Sebastian’s bag for Mommy? Yes, once I’m high I’ll probably eat most of the rest of his candy, too. But that’s good for him – I’m saving him from cavities.



At the end of the day, being a mom is wearing your heart on your sleeve while knowing there’s so much of your child’s world and experience you can’t control. That’s why I try my very best, then I put my faith in God, and I beg Him to let lost sinners redeem themselves by putting edibles in my kid’s Halloween bag. I don’t know where to buy them!