92-Year-Old Woman Still Not Over Ex

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D.C. resident Pauline Hevet is turning 92 this Wednesday, and when asked how she feels about this milestone, she said, “Honestly, I am still not over my ex.”


“I thought it may take a year, maybe two to grieve the relationship,” says Hevet. “But it has been almost 70 years of me missing my ex-boyfriend Hugh, who I dated for three years in my early twenties. I’m still pretty hung up over it.”


Her ex, Hugh Cartridge, met someone a few years later and has been happily married for 50 years. Still, Hevet has no plans to move on.


“I miss him every single day,” says Hevet. “It is very sad, but also, I have made no efforts to move on whatsoever. So ultimately, this is on me in a lot of ways.”


Hevet now lives in a retirement home which she moved into in order to be more social and to worry less as she got older.


“I never had any kids, so I sort of had to take it upon myself to get the care I needed,” says Hevet. “But I do still think a lot about the babies me and Hugh would have which we were definitely going to name either Erica or Kevin.”


Hevet has no family, however she is considered popular in her retirement home.


“Pauline is so much fun,” says 86-year-old Gwenna Nell. “Last week I went into her room and she was on the phone with her ex-boyfriend Hugh demanding ‘closure’ or something. She’s such a hoot!”


“Once I asked her to go on a walk with me,” says 94-year-old Burt Lance. “Here that’s code for going on a date. She said, ‘I’d love to go, but I should warn you I recently went through a breakup and it’s pretty fresh.’”


“I later found out they broke up in the last millenium, which was definitely surprising,” he added.



Hevet has no plans to get over her ex anytime soon.


“People try to encourage me to move on, since I’m very old and probably going to die soon,” she said. “But joke’s on them, because my tombstone will read ‘Hugh, Find Me In Heaven For One Last Romp.’”