Over the years, we’ve made countless lists of celebrities you may not have known were gay, everyone from Neil Patrick Harris to RuPaul, although for the latter we encourage you to use context clues and your eyes. But obviously, a parasocial relationship goes both ways, and these celebs deserve to know your dirty little secret too. Here are eight celebrities who had absolutely no clue that you were gay and are really surprised to hear it now that we’ve told them.
Meryl Streep
This 21-time Oscar nominee diva didn’t know you were gay at all, so you must’ve been hiding it pretty well! She sends her best wishes for your new out and proud life, and added that you should never lie to her again, okay hunny?
Rishi Sunak
While the Prime Minister of Great Britain may not be a celebrity to you, you certainly are one to him now that he knows you’re gay! When we showed him a photo of your face and said, “This bitch is gay!” he let out a really supportive squeal, said “OMG NO SHIT,” then got in trouble for using this language publicly. In celebration of your special coming out, he has lowered taxes for the rich.
Sarah Paulson
She had no clue you were gay, and baby, she’s mad about it! Mad you didn’t tell her, that is!
Rob Gronkowski
He had no clue and is mad in the more traditional sense.
Troye Sivan
Troye is happy for you, but after a little bit of prodding, he admitted that he’s a little hurt you felt the need to hide this sort of thing from him for so long considering how gay he is on main. We reminded Troye that coming out is a journey – there’s no right way to do it – and he seemed to take that pretty well. Ah, feel the rush!
Colton Underwood
Coming Out Colton? More like Coming Out You to Colton. Does this make sense? Anyway, he called you a gay slur. We thought you should hear it from us first.
JoJo Siwa
JoJo had no clue you were gay and now she’s accusing you of stealing her gig. Run, girl!
Patti LuPone
She’s had her suspicions.
There you have it! We’ve informed all the relevant parties that you’re gay, so now you don’t have to go around doing it yourself. You’re welcome, babe! Meryl says she’d love to hang now that she knows you’re down like that.
