Great cinema is full of tragedy, loss, and sadness – but nothing typifies that dramatic anguish quite like the shocking death of a beloved main character. But as painful as it can be to watch your favorite character go down, it doesn’t quite compare to your friendly manicurist staring at your face and then asking if you want an upper lip wax, too. Here are the most tragic movie deaths that won’t feel as gruesome as that:
Ellie in Up
Up may be a Pixar movie, but nobody expected a major character death in the first 10 minutes! Lively, lovely, strong Ellie passes away, devastating her husband and audiences everywhere. But it’s still not as devastating as when your pedicurist says, “You want me to take care of your mustache, too?”
Han Solo in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Kylo Ren killing his father was hurtful on multiple levels. It epitomized his total commitment to the dark side. Still, it didn’t make you feel as bad as your nail technician did when she reached across the table and touched your upper lip, then frowned.
Wolverine in Logan
Wolverine sacrifices himself for a bunch of child mutants, including his sort-of daughter, Laura, so they can run to freedom in Canada, leaving you sobbing long after it was over. But you sobbed even longer after you got home from the salon, studied your upper lip in the mirror and realized she was right — your hair was pretty dark there.
Bambi’s mom in Bambi
Though Bambi’s mom doesn’t have a name, her death is one of the most impactful in cinematic history. It taught generations of kids about the ultimate loss of innocence. But it has nothing on the innocence you lost when your manicurist said, “We could wax your chin, too.”
Rue in The Hunger Games
Little Rue never should have been in the Hunger Games. The death of this good child deeply affected Katniss and the people of Panem – only barely coming close to the day the woman doing your nails said, “Let’s wax your upper lip,” and she didn’t even say it in the form of a question.
Apollonia in The Godfather
Poor Apollonia didn’t know what she was getting into when she married Michael Corleone. When a car bomb killed her, audiences cried. But that death was literally getting your upper lip waxed.
Dog in John Wick
All he had left was the dog. All you had left was your dignity the day your manicurist, as she applied scalding hot wax to your face, said, “We offer laser removal now.”
All these things are painful: life, cinema, and prescribing to patriarchal notions of beauty vis-à-vis body hair. But one thing hurts the most — when someone you pay money to make you look nice realizes you’re failing at the last of these.
