Socializing can be hard, especially the part where you have to listen to other people talk about themselves. This is especially frustrating when you’ve already told your story and don’t want to listen to anyone now. With these helpful tips, you’ll be able to scoot out of the conversation the minute you’re done saying your piece so you never have to wait for someone else’s dumb voice to stop ever again!
Say, “We have to catch up soon, but I want to be able to give you my full attention.”
Want to leave the person you’re talking to feeling like you are too nice to listen to them? Once you’ve finished describing your bizarre SuperCuts experience, preempt their boring haircut story by telling them you want to savor their presence at a more ideal time. Make them feel special, then get outta there! The main trick with this one is that you can never see that person again. C’est la vie!
Yawn exaggeratedly and feign exhaustion.
You just finished telling a hilarious story about your fourth grade teacher, so your work here is done. A sudden onset of sleepiness is an easy and believable way to avoid having to hear about your friend’s brother’s disease. Besides, your telling of your story was exuberant enough to warrant exhaustion. Just make sure you avoid telling any more exuberant anecdotes after that, or they’ll be onto you.
Tell them what they’re talking about makes you uncomfortable.
Face it: it’s honestly insensitive for people to assume that their conversational topics aren’t going to be an emotionally touchy subject for you. You’re a delicate and sensitve person, as you just illustrated in your captivating retelling of that one time your ex sent you an Edible Arrangement. So don’t be afraid to get creative and tell the person who’s talking that their new subject can potentially be triggering to you! Bye!
Tell them you’re being called in on a work emergency.
This technique is the ideal way to get out of hearing about someone who’s not you, before ultimately talking about yourself more. Once you’ve finished describing this past week’s dreams in detail, look at your phone and explain how your job absolutely needs you right now. You have some leeway to talk about how demanding it is for approximately 20 minutes— then split!
Have some kind of attack.
Whether panic- or heart-, an attack is the perfect dramatic way to garner sympathy and avoid seeing pictures of your friend’s dogs. It will also create a new story for you to tell in the future—it doesn’t get much better than that!
With these tools, you can come closer to achieving the universal dream of never having to listen. Whoever said relationships were a two-way street just didn’t get away fast enough!