A young woman’s purity is a beautiful and sacred thing. Her virtue should be guarded and controlled by her father – until she finds a suitable husband who can take over his virtuous role. But having already wasted most of your prime sexual years, you are ready to take control of your sexuality. It’s time to let it show! Here’s how to look ultra-hot for a meaningful evening of reminding your daughter she’s only good until her goods are spoiled.
Show Your Stuff in a Plunging V-neck
The V-neck is God’s way of showing people your virtue is no longer relevant. The farther it plunges, the more looks you’ll get. And the more looks you get, the more likely that only 85% of them will be disapproving – which leaves you with a whopping 15% total looks of approval! The 85%-15% ratio is about as good as you can expect at a purity ball, so get it where you can.
Turn Heads in a Provocative Cutout Dress
Watching hordes of young women don purity rings could be boring, if you weren’t looking so damn fine in this sleek cutout dress! With generous back cutouts, you’ll look like Kate Middleton from the front, and Nicki Minaj from the behind. Purity pledgers won’t know what to think of you, and their parent’s won’t know how to explain why it doesn’t really matter after you turn 40.
Keep it Casual in Jean Cutoffs
Relive the teenage years you never had in a vintage pair of Levi’s cutoffs! Feel beautiful in your own skin as the keynote speaker explains the sacred nature of the chastity vow. The breeze on your thighs will make you wonder why you’ve decided to let your daughter be treated like a possession, but instantly forget when you see that cute pastor look your way.
Show Some Skin in a Crop Top
Showing your midriff is a great way to show Purity Ball goers that you’ve completely given up, and are finally ready to party. You only get so many nights out on the town and you’re certainly not going to waste this one, in spite of the location! Showing some skin might also help to show people that men actually are capable of restraining themselves in the presence of bare flesh.
Flaunt Your Nipples in a Rihanna-inspired Sheer Dress
Many people would argue that nipples are out of place at a Purity ball. They may be right, but tonight you’re not dressing for anyone but yourself. Just be sure to wear a shawl on your way in or your husband or community patriarchs might prevent your entry and glorious reveal. Interrupt the father-daughter dance and show your daughter what being yourself is all about. Remember: you’ve earned it.
Your daughter’s making a vow – not you! So show off what remains of your youth and virility with these suggestive looks.