This sweater is perfect for a cozy night in, and also it has never found love. Which is really tough considering it says “love,” so people are always like, “Oh, that’s your whole deal! You’re the ‘love’ one!” I mean, sure, it’s had its fair share of unfruitful relationships: those cargo shorts from Kohls and, well, a brief flirtation with a certain turtleneck from Ann Taylor Loft. You know what, maybe it should find a Carhart beanie! Who cares what its factory thinks! No, no, that’s stupid. It was being stupid. Anyway, time to scream and scream and never stop screaming.