4 Sweaters That Scream and Scream and Scream and Will Not Stop Screaming

Madewell Women’s Mockneck ($79.99)

This one doesn’t really have a reason for screaming, but it still just is, you know? It just feels really…guilty? For some reason? Like, maybe it should have stayed closer to its parents instead of setting out for the “big city.” Would it have been better off studying biomedical engineering? I mean everyone knows there are no jobs for sweaters in marketing anymore, especially after 2008 (when all the jobs for sweaters in marketing were filled). Well, there’s always the sweet release of a guttural, prolonged, ear-shattering screech to get it through the day.