4 Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Have To Step Aside And Let This Kid Have A Turn On The Big Bass Wheel At Dave And Busters

Some of us have found themselves at the only Dave and Busters open in the entire country, with only a few drunk patrons and one 14-year-old boy who is just fucking FOAMING AT THE MOUTH for the Big Bass Wheel right now. Here’s why I’m not fucking stepping aside for this little asshole:


I called dibs.

Those are the rules and we all know it. It’s not my fault the other one is out of service and I’m a legal adult, which gives me the right-of-way. Did this kid even learn about dibs, or any other part of the legal system of this country?


Is this kid even allowed in a Dave and Busters?

Has anybody looked into this? I’m not allowed to bring my little cousin Daryl here because he’s “a baby” so how did he get in? Did they close Chuck E. Cheese’s or something? Oh, they did? Great, now you made me lose on the Big Bass Wheel.


Look, he’s not my fucking kid.

Look, you can be nice to your kid and I’ll be nice to my kid. But this is a FREE COUNTRY and I’m an American with NO KIDS and I’m DRUNK so if your KID has a problem with ME then YOU should take care of it!! Fight me!!!!



Oh, so now he’s “crying”?

If I give this kid a sip of beer will he shut the fuck up?


I see how it is…so now I’m “being arrested” for exercising my rights? Okay, wow, guess this isn’t a free country after all. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!