4 Large Body Lotions That Will Outlive You
Intensive Care Cocoa Radiant Lotion (Vaseline, $8)
This is the perfect lotion to reach right past when you’re grabbing a box of tampons. It provides 48 hours of moisture each time you use it, and after you use it five times max, it’ll provide 75 more years of jack shit! Scientists from a distant planet will find her when they come to explore our unlivable Earth.
