How to Guard Your Alone Time Unless Something Cool Comes Up

The needs of life constantly demand your attention, which is why it has never been more important to safeguard your alone time to rejuvenate, revive your lust for living, and simply get to know your inner self. But also, something cool could come up at any moment, and you absolutely need to be there or people will literally forget about you. Here are quick tips to help you guard your alone time unless someone tells you about something that sounds, like, way more fun.


Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb.”

Our cellular devices are the chief agents of the attention economy, and if you want to guard your alone time, there’s only one thing to do: put your phone on “Do Not Disturb”, then take it off “Do Not Disturb” every 10 minutes just to be sure no one has texted you with a plan that sounds better than being alone. Also, be sure to tell your friends, “I’m putting my phone on ‘Do Not Disturb,’ but feel free to hit ‘Notify Anyway’ if you want to hang out at all in the next 5-10 mins.”


Write a schedule and stick to it.

A key way to protect your alone time from the grimy hands of capitalist time-vultures is to use your calendar diligently. Set aside an hour every few days to manifest your goals and let the quiet mind dominate. DO NOT let anyone encroach on that time, unless of course they’re encroaching with plans to go rollerblading or see a movie that seems fine. In that case, throw your schedule out the window – something cool just came up, baby!


Set time limits on your social media apps.

Then enjoy the rush of hitting “Ignore for 15 minutes” every 15 minutes! Instagram is where cool plans are born, and iMessage is where they are forged.



Get out in nature and leave your electronics at home!

Even better than limiting time on your phone – throw the whole thing away, drive to the countryside, and enjoy that cool mountain breeze! Just be sure to keep your pager on you at all times. Code 147 means “Me and the buds are going to watch MILF Manor. You should join if you’re free.” And you are! Always!


There you have it – quick and easy ways to make sure you’re getting the alone time you need, but also not a second more. Work on a novel! Journal! Play solitaire! As long as you can do those things in the five to ten minutes before someone approaches you with a plan that sounds better.