QUIZ: Will This Handful of Chocolate Chips Satisfy You or Are You Ready to Be Honest?

When you’ve finished lunch and are craving a sweet treat, it can be tempting to opt for a loose scoop of chocolate chips, the type of snack that makes you feel like a self-control savant. But is that really what you want? Take this quiz to find out if a small handful of chocolate chips will satisfy your sweet tooth, or if you’re ready to be fully honest with yourself.


How hungry are you?

  1. Not hungry at all! In fact, I wouldn’t have eaten anything, but these chocolate chips are just lying on the table, so…
  2. Starving. I seek a snack to dull the deep pain in my stomach, and luckily there are ten chocolate chips within reach! They will certainly be enough, and I will be happy I ate them.


Has a handful of chocolate chips ever satisfied you in the past?

  1. Yes! It’s the perfect sweet addition to my day.
  2. No, but this feels irrelevant. 


Is eating a handful of chocolate chips as a snack a thinly-veiled attempt to regain agency in a life that is otherwise spiraling out of control?

  1. Nope! I feel generally good, and would feel even better with five miniscule chunks of chocolate in my tummy.
  2. Hahahahaha! No! Not at all! Nuh-uh. No sir-ee. Not me! I feel good, and I cry the normal amount!


Cut the shit. We’re here. You’re here. No one is watching. Be honest.

  1. I am being honest!
  2. Okay fine…it’s a thinly-veiled attempt to regain agency in a life that is otherwise spiraling out of control.


Are you a mouse or a small rodent?

  1. Mmhm! I love to skitter and scamper.
  2. What? No? I’m a human person. What kind of question is this?



Mostly 1’s: Congrats, little fella! This small handful of chocolate will satisfy you! Enjoy roaming the open roads, a vagabond who cannot be held down by man or caught by traps.


Mostly 2’s: Thank you for being honest. Now, go get a Snickers and a Diet Coke from the corner store like a sensible adult.