Yoga is a great way to exercise and become more flexible, but it’s also an excellent way to just, you know, relaaaax. You know what I mean? And while there are many poses specifically designed to challenge your body, there are lots that are specifically for calming you down…and maybe working you up just the tiniest bit? Like, just a little bit juiced but nothing too crazy? So here are four yoga poses that will calm you and also get you juuuuust a lil’ bit horny!
Balasana
Also known as child’s pose, this position is just you lying forward on your knees with your palms outstretched in front of you. It’s such a low-impact and regenerative pose, you’ll barely notice that your boobs are grazing the ground just so, and your pelvis is being stretched ever so slightly, and…hm, yeah, you’re definitely feeling just a weensy bit turned on! No biggie, it’s only a little!
Supta Baddha Konasana
Its layman name, reclining bound angle pose, makes it easy to picture how you perform this move. Lie on your back, with your arms relaxed by your sides, and touch the soles of your feet together. Your inner thighs will get an amazing, graded stretch, and with your eyes closed and arms open and your breath so measured and your thighs spread so wide–whew! Is it getting a little hot in here?
Viparita Karani
This “legs up the wall” pose is exactly what it sounds like: you lie on your back with your legs propped up against a wall. But you can also use your own arms for support. Just put your hands under your lower back and prop up your butt. It’s the perfect angle for lumbar stretch and also, if you think about it, the perfect angle to have someone down there, doing whatever it is you really like. Matter of fact, spread your legs a little bit, mmm. Don’t worry, no one else in this yoga class can tell that you’re actively getting a little wet from all this, you freak!
Shavasana
What some consider the simplest of all yoga poses, this position has you lying on your back with your arms out. That’s it! Just disregard the fact that this is also called the corpse pose, because that’s not sexy at all. What is sexy is you there, flat on your back with your body, all sweaty and stretched out and core-engaged, ready to be adored by whichever lover stumbles upon you first. Doesn’t it make you wanna just do it right there on the floor of the YMCA basement yoga studio in front of all the other freelancers and stay-at-home moms and retirees? You dirty yogi, you!
Try any of these yoga poses when you wanna get a lil’ calm in your day, but also get a lil’ in the mood. Nama-stay horny, am I right?
