4 Belts That Would Look Better if They Were Absolutely Massive and It Was 2004

The double G on this thin, patent leather belt is a subtle sign of class, but of course nothing says “class” like a belt that takes up 40% of your torso and holds absolutely nothing up. Sure, this belt could “tighten your pants” if you’re into that sort of thing, but could you use it as a makeshift blanket in a cold movie theater screening of 13 Going on 30? In a pinch, could you use it as a hammock? Didn’t think so.