4 Belts That Would Look Better if They Were Absolutely Massive and It Was 2004

Reversible Leather Strap Belt 32mm (Hermes, $480)

Sure, this belt is nice, but sadly it cannot hold a candle to anything Ashley Tisdale wore to the premiers of the High School Musical movies. Show us a belt with an optimism about it that suggests it has not yet seen the 2007 housing crisis. Where is the double line of metallic holes? Where is the massive buckle that says “COOLGRL”? Simply put, where is the passion?