Summer is here, and those of us who haven’t hit the gym are feeling the pressure. Not sure which wardrobe pieces will flatter and disguise those pesky love handles or troublesome saddlebags? Not to worry! Black is slimming, and so is total darkness! Read on for some of the best dark rooms to hide your problem areas in:
The Hall Closet
An old favorite and timeless classic, think of the hall closet as the “little black dress” of dark rooms to hide your body.Not quite ready for bikini season but have a pool party on the horizon? Never fear—dark closets were made for just such occasions! When other guests begin to strip down to their bathing suits, that is your cue to dash into the nearest darkened hall closet for the duration of the party. Not only will a shadowy closet conceal all of your untoned tummy areas or unwanted bulges, but your absence will leave other guests wanting more. You skinny minx, you!
DIY Dark Room
No hall closets around? Not to worry! Simply draw the shades, turn off the lights, and presto: one homemade dark room, ready to conceal the results of all the extra pizza you demolished during the long cold winter. DIY dark rooms are perfect when you’ve got a hot date but can’t find any pants that will button that day. Simply invite your date over to your place, and confine the hang out sesh to your DIY dark room. Your date will have no way of seeing your unbuttoned, half-zippered pants that look like they’re about to burst at the seams, and your problem areas will practically vanish! If things get steamy and your date reaches for your unfastened pants, ask him to don oven mitts as a fun “game.”
A Cave
Though not a room in the traditional sense, the tropical cave is no slouch when it comes to hiding your problem areas in the summer months. Who hasn’t had that tropical summer vacation that approaches way too quickly? You promise yourself you’ll eat nothing but lettuce and herbal tea for the next few weeks leading up to your trip, but before you know it, you find yourself standing on a bright, sandy beach, with nothing but well-lit open spaces as far as the eye can see and donut crumbs lingering at the sides of your mouth. You are a monster. Your entire body is one big problem area. But don’t fret. Simply locate the nearest tropical cave and entree vous! As you hide deep within the dark, cavernous confines of the cave, your travel mates will have no way of glimpsing your embarrassing cellulite. And when the search team does eventually recover your body, the lighting will be so nonexistent that no one will say “boo” about the obvious lack of squats in your workout routine. Joke’s on them!
Whether a pool party, a hot date, or a tropical island getaway, there is a dark room for all problem areas. Try one out this summer to go from “flab” to “Hey, has anyone seen Shannon? Maybe she lost weight and she’s too thin for us to see?”
