When you’ve been having sex with the same person for a while, the orgasms can get predictable – same ol’ explosions of pleasure, day in, day out. But you don’t have to settle for everyday, normal orgasms. Spice things up by trying one of these hot sex moves guaranteed to give you a strange and unsettling feeling – your weirdest orgasm ever!
The Flippity Floppity Pancake
Get lubed up with store brand margarine, then lie down flat on his body. After he’s inside you, both of you should flap around like pancakes on the griddle. Eventually, you’ll have a hot feeling and will be like, “Wait, what? Is this an orgasm?” Yes! But it’s a weird one.”
The Deliberate Codpiece
Have him cup his hands over your mons pubis, forming a dome over your genitalia. Then, have him blow into his cupped hands, surrounding your labia with his warm breath. After 20-30 minutes, have him quickly yank his hands away and you’ll feel a stomach-churning feeling that might be an orgasm but might also just be a wash of relief that he’s not doing that to you anymore. You’re welcome!
“A Doggy That Can Read” Style
While in doggy style, grab a great classic novel (A Tale of Two Cities, The Count of Monte Cristo), and read it aloud while he pumps you rapidly from behind. Around page 52 you’ll feel a very odd tingling sensation and you’ll think, “This is either an instant UTI or the oddest orgasm ever.” Both of those are correct!
The Drone Attack
Have your man lie on his back on the floor, with an erection. Then, walk in circles around him. At random times, run to him, straddle his manhood for 3-5 minutes, then dismount and retreat, returning to circling him. After an extended period, you should both be super frustrated. Right before you decide to give up, you’ll feel something jabby and spazzy which is probably an orgasm, just not one that falls easily into the category of “orgasm” since it’s too goddamn weird. But rest assured – it’s still an orgasm!
The Southern Babysitter
Have missionary-style sex while eating bowl after bowl of cheesy grits. After 15-20 minutes you’ll both have a really gross feeling of “Ick, are we really fucking while eating cheese grits? That’s gross; I feel gross.” Then you’ll have a spasm of shame so strong, it might as well be an orgasm. Let’s call it a weird orgasm!
The Boogeyman Bang
Sew three edges of a few bed sheets together to form a giant pouch. Then, before you seal the last edge, have him crawl inside. Sew up the last remaining bit, sealing him inside the pouch. From inside the pouch, have him attempt to finger you. It will be like all your childhood nightmares come to life! This fear will build until you have a shuddering feeling like you just peed the bed. In fact, you actually will have peed the bed. Which is the key part of this super weird, wet orgasm!
Try out these weird moves and we guarantee that you’ll be saying, “I think it was an orgasm?” And you’ll be sort of right!
