In an inspiring story out of a dinner party in Brooklyn, NY, 25-year-old Bobbie Keen adamantly insisted that former president Jimmy Carter was dead, pulled out her phone to check for evidence, found none, then expertly waited until the conversation moved on to discreetly put her phone away.
Nice job, Bobbie! We’re sure no one noticed!
“She was all up in arms about how there was no way former President Jimmy Carter was spotted in Washington this week because he’s dead,” said Bobbie’s older brother, Joshua Keen, who was present at the dinner party. “She yelled, ‘He’s kaput, and I’ll bet my life on it!’ and then pulled out her phone and got super quiet.”
Sources confirm that upon googling “Jimmy Carter died when,” the result showed he was alive and well, and Bobbie had no choice but to hope everyone was going to move on before she had to admit her mistake.
She made a show of looking very confused, as if she could not find a single article pertaining to the extremely alive president.
After about 30 seconds of light muttering, the conversation picked back up on a new topic – where we’re at with climate change – and Bobbie breathed a barely-audible sigh of relief.
“She made a few more obvious touches on her phone, as if she was still looking for an article,” Joshua continued. “Then started peeking around as if she was trying to follow the conversation again.”
Witnesses revealed that after about 10 seconds of this, Bobbie discreetly lowered the phone, having found no evidence to support anything she’d said.
“It was masterful, really,” said Bobbie’s friend, Maria Leon, who was also present at the scene. “I wouldn’t have noticed that she discreetly put her phone away if I wasn’t waiting to see if she’d discreetly put her phone away. That’s how you know she’s wrong.”
Sources claim Bobbie has been using this strategy for years: If she finds evidence of something she said, she’ll shout it from the rooftops, but if she doesn’t, she’ll pretend it never happened.
“Oh, did she do the thing where she slowly puts the phone away when she’s wrong?” Bobbie’s dad, Joseph Keen, asked reporters. “Yeah, she learned that from her mother.”
After two hours passed and the group was cleaning dishes, one of the other members of the dinner party circled back to see if Bobbie ever found out whether Jimmy Carter was alive. “Oh yeah,” Bobbie told her immediately, without having to pull out her phone this time. “Yeah, 100% he’s super alive.”
