In an inspiring story of girlbossery coming out of New York, 31-year-old accountant Malia Johnson made her mark on the corporate world by not only working hard, but by bleeding through her pleated trousers and onto her office chair!
Okay, slay, bitch! You’re a literal trailblazer!
“It was pretty easy,” Malia explained. “All I did was forget to put a tampon in after I took one out, and the next thing I knew I was bleeding onto the $800 custom office chair in my cubicle.”
Yas, girl! That impenetrable stain will be there long after you’re gone!
“I feel a lot more at home now that Malia bled onto her office chair,” says 28-year-old receptionist Janet Mulberry. “Everyone who menstruates in the office does it now, so you could say that Malia’s not just a girlboss – she’s a trendsetter too!”
“After my success, I’ve decided to start freebleeding full time,” Malia says. “I figure that I shouldn’t be ashamed to bleed through my clothes and onto the office furniture, whether that’s my chair, a desk that I’m leaning on to look powerful while talking to a coworker, or the couch in our lobby.”
When asked what was next in her career, Malia told us that her hopes are high.
“I have big dreams,” Malia says. “Someday, I hope to bleed onto the Oval Office chair itself.”
She’s definitely got our vote!