26-year-old Jazmine Hendricks has been on a fearless pursuit of knowledge since she learned to read, but despite trying her hardest to learn more and more each day, her noble quest ground to a halt yesterday when she encountered one single paywall on a popular news website.
Last Friday at 2:38 pm, the fearless Jazmine grew curious about how inflation works. She typed her question into Google and found some promising leads, but was appalled when the first result was hidden behind a $1/month paywall.
“I pride myself on learning whatever I can at any given moment,” Jazmine said. “As long as I don’t have to pay for it, or click any additional buttons.”
Sources confirm that once Jazmine realized that she had to both pay money and enter her email address, she stopped trying to learn about the economy altogether, in spite of her relentless, fearless love of learning.
We were also able to speak with Jazmine’s friends and family on this shocking disruption to what is ostensibly her entire deal.
“Jazmine has always loved to learn,” Jazmine’s mother, Margaret Hendricks said. “But once something costs her money, we weren’t surprised that her passion quickly came to an end.”
It’s a shame how someone could lose that spark so fast, and all because they couldn’t even view the article in a private tab instead!
“We can’t believe that this is what stopped Jazmine from her lifelong pursuit of self-education,” one of Jazmine’s roommates, Geraldina, told us. “We used to see her Googling things in the living room with such verve through all hours of the night, but after she saw that paywall, everything changed.”
“I guess it’s time to put my passionate love affair with learning behind me,” Jazmine said. “Because as long as there are paywalls on the internet, I’m swearing off reading all articles forever. I just can’t bear to go through that again.”
At press time, Jazmine has still halted any and all of her varying research, but maybe she could read a book or something – as long as it doesn’t cost money.
