While exiting a movie theater’s public restroom stall, Akron resident Tibby Lowe smiled at the next person in line for a stall despite having just taken a massive dump.
The incongruous sequence of events left many feeling shocked and confused.
“I’m definitely still taken aback. She smiled at me so sweetly, as if to say, ‘Here’s the stall, in perfect condition’,” said Mary Johnson, the woman to whom Lowe misleadingly smiled. “I never could have guessed that she had just taken a giant barely-flushed dump in the very bathroom stall I was about to enter.”
A third-party witness, Jade Schwartz, was in line after Johnson and confirmed Johnson’s disturbing story.
“It was such a friendly and almost proud smile,” said Schwartz. “It honestly seemed like she had left a gift behind for the next person. But now that I think about it, there’s no reason you should ever smile as you exit a stall.”
While most people who witnessed the interaction between Lowe and Johnson are still reeling trying to process how someone could flash a casual smile to the person who is about to enter a zone where they left a toxic big shit, Lowe maintains her innocence.
“I really don’t get why it’s a big deal,” said Lowe. “I smiled at the woman as I exited the stall to be polite and I pooped because it’s a bathroom and I had to poop.”
Johnson, however, insists that Lowe knowingly plotted her smile as an elaborate cover-up for her big nasty dump.
An employee of the multiplex theater in which the event transpired issued a statement on the theater’s behalf once the public caught news of the incident.
“We have been made aware of the events that took place in our theater’s restroom this past week,” the statement read. “We are taking action to ensure our patrons know not to deceptively smile at those behind them in line for the bathroom after taking, frankly, a very big and bad shit in the stall.”
While Lowe is yet to issue an apology for having the gall to smile at Johnson after creating a dump-permated environment for her to enter that was arguably lethal, it is safe to say she will not be returning to the theater in the near future.
Lowe has been keeping a low-profile since the event. Reports confirm she knows what she did.
