In a testament to the complexity of the human psyche, 28-year-old Penny Karsten absolutely loathes hosting, even though she’s simultaneously addicted to purchasing cute dishware sets.
“It’s definitely a struggle,” Penny told reporters. “On the one hand, I love buying new sets of plates and glasses, while on the other hand, I am overcome with extreme guilt when they just gather dust in my cabinets.”
However, Penny says having people over and actually getting use out of her highly curated dishes is absolutely out of the question.
“If I had to list my least favorite things in the world, it would go 1) hosting people at my apartment and 2) watching my beautiful ceramic dishes waste away in the dark recesses of my kitchen,” she said. “You see how that puts me in a bind.”
Penny added that she tries to make the most of her dishware collection by herself, but it’s just not enough.
“I just have so many fucking antique dishes and fine-stemmed glasses,” she said. “Even if I use a different one every night, it won’t make a dent. Plus, they’re not being used to their full potential when it’s just one person. I did try feeding my cats with them, which was actually super cute, but still, they’re meant to be used for an eight-person dinner party, not a sad, quiet meal shared between one girl and two cats.”
When reporters asked Penny why she didn’t just stop buying dishware and make use of what she already owned to the best of her ability, she appeared incredulous.
“You don’t think I’ve already tried that?” she said. “You think I want to keep buying gorgeous, vintage 12-piece teacup sets? No! It’s a need, a hunger – one that will never be sated.”
Penny then spent the next two hours opening and closing her cabinets periodically to observe her various 10-piece dish sets, all while muttering “so beautiful” and “my little ceramic family” under her breath. Reporters even swore they saw her shed a tear.
As of press time, Penny had succumbed to her guilt and hosted a 12-person tea party at her apartment and actually had an amazing time.
“Do I…enjoy hosting?” she asked reporters. “I could’ve sworn I hated this, but hosting a tea party with all of my friends was actually a lovely time.”
However, upon viewing the aftermath of dirty dishes in her sink she said, “Oh, yeah, now I remember…this shit sucks. It’s definitely better to just leave these to gather dust in the cabinets.”
