Woman For Whom Nothing Is Going Right Takes Solace in Having a Huge Ass

For Austin resident Maria Dixon, it seemed like nothing was going right. But despite her harsh disappointments, she still found peace in having an amazing huge ass.


Just last Saturday, Maria lost her job at the bank. She was actually fired while working overtime in the hopes of earning a promotion.


But instead of getting sad when it happened, Maria held her chin up high.


“Sure, it was hard,” Maria told us. “But as I walked outside through the doors of that Bank of America, I knew that my glorious cheeks were following right behind me, which made me feel a lot stronger.”


And that wasn’t the only hardship that Maria went through recently.


A couple days after getting fired, her girlfriend, Nomi, also broke up with her because she “just didn’t feel a connection anymore,” even though Nomi immediately got back together with her ex, who Maria thought she had been overly friendly with throughout their entire relationship.


But none of this mattered! Because even without a job or a girlfriend, Maria still felt whole because of her giant ass.


“After all, how could I be sad with a dump truck like this?” Maria said.


The worst part of the week, however, was probably Friday, when Maria had to put her beloved dog, Winnie, down at the vet’s office.


“I’ve had Winnie since I was twelve years old,” Maria said. “But after finding out that the surgery to remove her tumor was too expensive, I was faced with only one other option.”


“It was really tough,” Maria added “But even though I was sobbing in the vet’s office, I found that grabbing my own ginormous ass helped me to console myself.”





We wish Maria luck in her quest to find a new job, and maybe even a new love interest. And while she may not have her dog to comfort her anymore, it seems like her ass will do the trick!