A routine flight route from Philadelphia to Minneapolis was disrupted this week when passenger Rita Felder was flattened into absolute nothingness after a man leaned his seat all the way back, crushing Felder into nothingness.
“It can get pretty cramped in the economy section of the cabin,” flight attendant Kendra Novak explains, “But I’ve never seen anything like this. The woman completely disappeared.”
Eyewitnesses report that the Felder, who was seated in row 17, seat C, was extant one moment, and, in the blink of an eye was replaced by a black void that occasionally emitted the rushing noise of a far away wind upon the impact of the seat hitting its full reclining position.
“I’ve never seen anything like that in all my years”, remarks fellow passenger Briana Enbaum. “Sure, people lean their seats back from time to time. Sometimes you get really lucky and there’s no one in the seat behind you and you can really just go nuts and go full on La-Z-Boy. But this? It’s enough to make you seriously consider first class.”
Others report that the victim’s entrance into the abyss portended by the ancients was quick, as the perpetrator, after slipping his headphones on, shifted to a full incline the literal instant flight attendants allowed him to do so.
“I guess it’s within his rights to want to recline,” said the man’s seatmate, Anil Agrawal. “But you would think the airline would have taken this sort of thing into consideration.”
When asked to comment on the incident, the man was asleep with his hoodie over his eyes in the aisle seat, completely preventing his seatmate’s movement around the cabin even though the fasten seatbelts sign was off.
